yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
