Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
false alarm. still invincible.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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