Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
my liver is dry heaving
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
