I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
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I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
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I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
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