I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Randomize
