Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Randomize
