How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
