oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize