Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
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