Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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