I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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