your room smells of hookers.
And success
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
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They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
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It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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