you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
