Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
