At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
