You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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