Kiss
Puke
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
