like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
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