I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
