You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
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