i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize