I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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