If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
