can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
even my farts smell like vagina
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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