Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
