allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
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When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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