I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Randomize
