walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Randomize
