i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
ttyl tear gas
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
