He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
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