What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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