Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
