You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
