She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize