I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
