My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Randomize
