On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
