i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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