Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
