having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
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