I wish my penis had an off switch
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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