I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
