I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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