I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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