We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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