dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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