whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
