Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Randomize
