Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
