he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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