Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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