so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
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