Just fell off a train. Bad.
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize