i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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