I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
