its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
