Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
