Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
When are your genitals available?
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Randomize
