I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Randomize
