Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
